


The Ultimate Double Dare

by CrayolaRainbow



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast), The Infinite Noise - Lauren Shippen
Genre: 11 characters is TOO MANY FOR ONE CONVERSATION, Canon Jewish Character, Christmas Party, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Dumb boys being dumb, Eloping, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), M/M, Marriage, Married Couple, Moving In Together, Secret Marriage, Secrets, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, also that, bc theyre married, chapter one is a complete story and can be read on its own!!, for all you discord people this is the [redacted] fic, fuck u lauren and ur 10 year timline til wedding, gotta make things interesting, i say NOW, just the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff, send help, that's the most important tag tbh, thats how that works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-11-02 12:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrayolaRainbow/pseuds/CrayolaRainbow
Summary: Did you know that the government will give you more money for college if you're married?Caleb and Adam do!Or: Caleb and Adam do a really dumb thing and then lie about it to their friends and family for nearly a decade. (For better and for worse.)ITS A WEDDING FIC, BABY!!!!!





	1. In which Caleb and Adam really live up to the Wise Idiots definition of Sophomore

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this is so much longer than I thought it would be.
> 
> Thank you so much to my wonderful beta MaikaMaika, who has listened to me yell about this fic for the past 4 months.
> 
> Thanks to thefigureinthecorner for unintentionally titling this months ago, without even knowing it. The title comes from [this](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/552312826673365032/611773618522685470/marriage.jpg) little comic
> 
> This fic, like a good vlogbrothers video, comes to you in three parts.
> 
> Part one can be read on its own!! It's a 10k oneshot! The other parts/chapters are people finding out and part 3 is the ""Real"" wedding, with suits and parents and big budgets.

Super Trouper: why is college so expensive :((((((  
Super Trouper: I just got back from a meeting with the financial aid people and basically, if I want any loans that aren’t going to screw me over with the interest, I have to either have a kid, turn 24, or get married  
Super Trouper: and I may have super powers, but they don’t extend to time travel

Babe <3: you’re right, that’s more Sam’s wheelhouse  
Babe <3: and even then

Super Trouper: wait

Babe <3: ?

Super Trouper: don't say anything, hear me out

Babe <3: ?? Okay???

Super Trouper: What if we got married  
Super Trouper: I see your little grey dots, let me explain  
Super Trouper: 1. We love each other  
Super Trouper: 2. College expensive  
Super Trouper: I know we decided to wait until college was all done bc weddings are expensive  
Super Trouper: but what if we didn’t have a wedding

Babe <3: how the hell are you going to convince our parents to let that happen  
Babe <3: my mom would kill me if I denied her a fancy wedding

Super Trouper: who says we have to tell her

Babe <3: Jesus Caleb, do you want me to get murdered??? You think *Eloping* is going to help??????

Super Trouper: what if we get married, then tell people we got engaged instead. We’ll have a long “engagement” and then have a “wedding” farther down the line like we planned. We get a big party, and nobody needs to know we didn’t actually get married on our wedding day.

Babe <3: huh  
Babe <3: okay  
Babe <3: but I want a ring and a half decent proposal. IN PERSON this time.

Super Trouper: omg really?? THANK YOU. I love you, you’re the best

Babe <3: of course. I’m not some cheap mail order husband, you gotta make an effort  
Babe <3: I love you too

Babe <3: so I’ve been doing some research  
Babe <3: what state do you want to get married in?  
Babe <3: I was thinking Michigan since you’re already there  
Babe <3: and there we only need one party present to apply for the licence  
Babe <3: which we need before the certificate, which is the actual ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* marriage *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ part  
Babe <3: we’d need 1 (one) witness for the ceremony  
Babe <3: whaddya think?

Super Trouper: holy shit  
Super Trouper: im so on board for that plan  
Super Trouper: i’d be lost without you

Babe <3: <3 <3 <3  
Babe <3: thats why youre marrying me!

Super Trouper: damn gay.

Babe <3: fhadkjfhdksjf  
Babe <3: meathead <3

Super Trouper: dork <3

Babe <3: i think you’ll find that it is you, good sir, who is being the dork here, but i digress.

Super Trouper: lmao  
Super Trouper: do you want to go on a “honeymoon”?  
Super Trouper: bc for all this is a Dumb and Stupid thing to do, I really want to do it as properly as possible  
Super Trouper: i know we were thinking about doing a little couples trip thingy during winter break, we could just call it a honeymoon instead  
Super Trouper: have u decided where u want to go yet?

Babe <3: I was thinking New York City  
Babe <3: both for ease and because New York is dope as hell and I’ve always wanted to go  
Babe <3: thoughts?

Super Trouper: “New York is dope as hell”  
Super Trouper: *why*

Babe <3: don't mock me, I’m your fiancé

Super Trouper: not yet you’re not, which means I can mock you as much as I want

Babe <3: future husband, then

Super Trouper: ???? that wouldn't work, you were always going to be my future husband

Babe <3: Jesus  
Babe <3: holy shit Caleb, that was smooth as fuck

Super Trouper: was it?? I wasn’t trying to be

Babe <3: you’re the worst, I love you

Super Trouper: love you too  
Super Trouper: new york sounds fantastic.  
Super Trouper: and Chloe maybe, for a witness? I think it’d be best to have her in on the secret from the beginning so there’s less of a chance of her accidentally blabbing without realizing

Babe <3: oooo good point  
Babe <3: do you wanna ask her, or shall i?

Super Trouper: nah, i’ll do it

Caleb: hey Chloe

art hoe(tm): what

Caleb: so weird question

art hoe(tm): go on

Caleb: wouldyoubewillingtobeawitnesswhenadamandigetmarried

art hoe(tm): ??  
art hoe(tm): say it again, but slower

Caleb: would you be willing to be a witness when Adam and I get married

art hoe(tm): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
art hoe(tm): of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
art hoe(tm): that’s not a weird question at all!  
art hoe(tm): why are you asking so far in advance tho?

Caleb: about that  
Caleb: are you doing anything Veterans Day weekend?

art hoe(tm): why  
art hoe(tm): what are you planning

Caleb: swear to secrecy. You can’t tell ANYONE. This isn’t a joke

art hoe(tm): I’m getting scared  
art hoe(tm): fine, I swear I won’t tell anyone

Caleb: so here’s the thing  
Caleb: college expensive

art hoe(tm): and??? I hate to break it to you Caleb, but that’s not some big secret  
art hoe(tm): literally everyone knows that

Caleb: but

art hoe(tm): but

Caleb: college a whole lot less expensive if FAFSA gives you more money  
Caleb: FAFSA gives you more money if you’re married

art hoe(tm): holy shit  
art hoe(tm): holy shit  
art hoe(tm): HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL  
art hoe(tm): YOURE GETTING MARRIED?????  
art hoe(tm): does Adam know????????

Caleb: of course Adam knows, what the fuck kind of boyfriend do you think I am

art hoe(tm): fiancé

Caleb: not yet  
Caleb: “proposals over text don’t count”  
Caleb: I have to do it in person with a ring  
Caleb: I’m gonna surprise him next weekend  
Caleb: so can you do it?

art hoe(tm): of course!!! I wouldn’t miss it for the world

Caleb: thank you so much!!!

art hoe(tm): what should I wear?

Caleb: we haven’t even figured out what we’re going to wear, calm down  
Caleb: ask Adam?? I dunno  
Caleb: like a summer/spring flowey dress thing, maybe, but more you and more appropriate for Michigan in November??

art hoe(tm): I’ll figure something out

~~~

Super Trouper: where are u rn

Babe <3: if this is you trying to set up a sext, it isn’t going to work  
Babe <3: I’m in my dorm about to head to dnd, why

Super Trouper: no reason

Babe <3: ???

Super Trouper: just wondering

Babe <3: that’s not cryptic at alllll

Super Trouper: don't worry about it

Babe <3: anyways……….  
Babe <3: I can’t find my players handbook. I don’t know where tf Rebecca put it when she was done borrowing it yesterday

There’s a knock at the door. Adam doesn’t even bother to pull himself out from underneath his bed, checking to see if maybe his player’s handbook fell between the wall and the bed.

“Where the fuck is it,” he mutters to himself.

The knock comes again.

“I can’t open the door right now, let yourself in and say your piece,” Adam bellows from under the bed. He hopes whoever it is can hear him.

Adam hears click of the door opening as he goes back to his searching.

Whoever it is at the door lets out a sharp wolf whistle. “Mmph, sexy boyfriend right there. Those pajama pants and the shadow from the bed really accentuate your ass. Mwah.” There’s the sound of a smacking kiss. “Make all the Victorian men swoon showing all that ankle. 10/10, would date again.”

Adam’s head shoots up and he winces as his head hits the slats of the bed frame with a CRACK.

Caleb hisses in sympathy as Adam drags himself out from under the bed, bringing the players handbook with him.

“Did you just chef’s kiss my ass?!?” Adam asks indignantly, rubbing his head as he stands up. “And what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I might have. And I’m here to propose, in person as requested.” Caleb presses a gentle kiss to Adam’s bump and inhales deeply. 

Adam rests his head against Caleb’s chest, listens to his heart beat. He sends out his emotions even though he knows he didn’t have too, imagining them wrapping around Caleb like a warm blanket of _love_ and _joy._

Caleb pulls back slightly after a moment and kisses his way down to Adam’s lips. His forehead, his temples, his cheekbones, a nip at his earlobe, a line of kisses along his jawline, before finally, finally, kissing Adam soundly.

Adam melts against Caleb. They just stand there in the middle of Adam’s dorm room, making out until Adam realizes that if they don’t stop right now he's gonna be late.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Adam gasps in between kisses. He giggles as he pulls away from Caleb. “I love you, but I’m gonna be late for dnd.”

Caleb whines. “But _Adam_“ He makes grabby hands as Adam gets up off the bed and starts rooting around for his pants.

“But _Caleb_“ Adam whines back as he kicks off his pjs and pulls on jeans. He changes out of his ratty t-shirt (a shirt that used to be Caleb’s, and Adam had migrated to his wardrobe) and pulls on his GAY DND LOGO SHIRT.

“Are. Are you _mocking_ me!” Caleb gasps dramatically and puts a hand over his chest.

“Me? Mock you? _Never_.” Adam says sarcastically. He stuffs his players handbook and dice bag into his over the shoulder bag. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

Caleb’s face lights up. “Me too?”

“Yeah, of course you too. I’m gonna ask Chris to let you play.”

Caleb leaps up excitedly then looks down at his chest, frowning. He looks back up at Adam. “Should I change my shirt?” He tugs on the football jersey he’s wearing. Paired with his shorts, he looks exactly like the meathead jock Adam knows and loves, and exactly like the kind of person his dnd group would hate.

Adam smiles. “Nah, leave it. I can’t wait to see their faces when you whip out your cleric.”

~~~

“C’mon, Caleb, hurry up!” Adam laughs as he bounds backwards through the parking lot towards Walmart. He’s so damn bouncy, riding the high of a great D&D game.

Caleb grins. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” He jogs up to where Adam is and clasps his hand, swinging them between them as they walk to the entrance.

As soon as they step through the sliding doors, Adam drops Caleb’s hand and makes a beeline to the carts. 

“C’mon, push me!” He says as he clambers into a shopping cart.

Caleb grins and pushes Adam through the store. He knows everyone is staring at them, but he doesn't give a flying fuck. He’s dumb and in love and they’re buying ice cream and everything is right in the world.

~~~

The laptop rests on the bed in front of them, carefully placed on a lap tray. Lilo and Stitch plays quietly over the laptop speakers. Adam sits in Caleb’s lap, his head resting against Caleb’s chest.

As the credits begin to roll, Caleb leans forward and pauses the movie.

“Adam,” Caleb hesitates. “You’re sure about this, right? You’re not just doing this to make me happy or whatever, because we don’t have to do this if you aren’t sure.”

Adam frowns and turns so he’s looking Caleb dead in the eyes. “Caleb. Do you really think I’d risk angering the fuck out of my parents to marry you for a joke? I don’t care if we get married tomorrow, or in November, or 10 years from now. I just want to be with _you_. I love _you_, Caleb Michaels and I want to be with you forever. I don’t care if we get married so we don’t go into a frankly hellacious amount of debt, or if we wait until we have our shit together with jobs and what the fuck ever. As long as we love each other, I don't give a flying fuck about the reason we get married on _that_ specific day in _that_ specific year!” 

Adam grabs Caleb’s hand and presses it over his heart. “Can you feel that? My confidence, my love? You’re not making me do anything, Caleb. I am my own man, my own person. I love you, I am _In Love_ with you, Caleb, and I’m here for the long haul, whether we tell the world and the government now or 10 years from now.” Adam takes a deep breath as he finishes and searches Caleb’s face for a response.

“Holy shit,” Caleb breaths, mouth ajar. He flaps his mouth open and shut for a few seconds. “Jesus Christ, Adam,” he says and pulls him into a deep kiss. God he loves his fucking boyfriend.

And oh. That might be the last time he thinks that. _Boyfriend_. In just a few moments it’ll be _fiancé_, and then soon it’ll be _husband_, for the rest of their lives.__

_ _Caleb breaks away with a gasp and Adam whines. _ _

_ _“Ok ok ok ok,” Caleb says as he gets off the bed. He hops around the room as he digs in his pockets, before pulling out a sapphire blue ring box._ _

_ _Adam’s heart stops. _ _

_ _Holy shit. _ _

_ _This is It._ _

_ _His heart starts beating faster and faster. Like, yeah he was expecting it, but this is _It._ This is the moment he becomes daydream Adam. And he’s not stupid. He knows getting married isn’t going to cure his depression any more than dating Caleb has. Love isn’t a miracle cure for depression and he’s accepted that. But he never thought he’d get anywhere close to being daydream Adam. That’s why he was just that. A daydream._ _

_ _“C’mere,” Caleb says, beckoning with his free hand for Adam to join him. “I want to do this properly.”_ _

_ _“Right, yeah, yeah,” Adam says breathlessly as he scrambles off the bed to stand in front of Caleb._ _

_ _Caleb grabs Adam’s shoulders and centers him, before pressing a kiss to his forehead and dropping to one knee._ _

_ _In the silence, Adam panics, desperate to fill it with something, anything- “y’know Caleb, if you wanted to give me a blow job, we could’ve just stayed on the bed. It’d probably be better on your knees.”_ _

_ __Goddamn it._ _ _

_ _Not. Not that._ _

_ _“I. Fuck. Can you please propose before I say anything else dumb?” Adam begs._ _

_ _“Well gee baby, I don't know, your mind seems like its on other things right now.” Caleb grins up at Adam._ _

_ _“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Adam giggles._ _

_ _“Wellllllll…..” Caleb says._ _

_ _“Oh my god, _please_ propose.”_ _

_ _Caleb snorts and starts laughing, and then Adam snickers at their dumb jokes, which turns into a full belly laugh. Soon Adam is curled over the top of Caleb’s head as they laugh their asses off, while Caleb still kneels on the floor._ _

_ _Eventually, the laughter dies down and Adam slides down Caleb’s body so they were kneeling in front of each other._ _

_ _Caleb takes Adam’s left hand and presses a gentle kiss to it._ _

_ _“Adam. I still can’t give you the future you need right now. But you’ve stuck with me through some of the worst moments in my life and seen me do some awful things that I regret so fucking much, and you’ve _never_ stopped loving me. And I just want to be selfish and ask you to stay with me forever, just you and me against the world. For better or for worse, right?”_ _

_ _Caleb presses a kiss to Adam’s palm, opens the ring box, and takes a shaky breath. “Adam Whitney Hayes. I love you more than anything else. Will you make me the happiest fucking person in the world and marry me?” Caleb looks up hopefully at Adam and smiles. “And neither of our fingers are broken right now, so you _have_ to say yes.”_ _

_ _“Yes, yes, of course it’s a fucking yes.” Adam laughs, bright and clear. “Come on, put it on!”_ _

_ _Caleb gently and carefully slides the ring onto Adam’s finger._ _

_ _When he’s done, Adam holds his hand in front of his face so he can properly take in the ring. “Oh, babe, it perfect,” he gasps._ _

_ _And it really is. The ring is black metal with a celtic knot style design wrapping around the band over a green band of color. Adam loves it, his boyf- fuck, his _fiancé_ did such a good job picking it out._ _

_ _“Caleb I love it.” Adam kisses Caleb softly and pulls away. “Can I see yours?”_ _

_ _“Oh! Yeah!” Caleb bounces up like an excited puppy and starts digging through his backpack._ _

_ _While he digs, Adam rubs his thumb over the ring on his finger absentmindedly, not used to the feeling of it on his finger. Soon, Caleb plops himself back down on the floor in front of Adam and tosses him the ring box._ _

_ _“You want to do the honors?” Caleb asks, shyly._ _

_ _Adam opens the ring box and gasps. “Caleb, this is _gorgeous_.”___ _

_ _ _ _The ring Caleb had chosen for himself is a silver band with what looks like a crushed green opal inlay down the middle. There's flecks of yellow and blue amongst the green, and it’s beautiful as it glints in the shitty dorm room lighting._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Caleb,” Adam begins. “You’ve loved me through some deep fucking valleys in my life, but you’re always there to pull me up and you still love me even when I’m a shitty boyfriend. I’ll never understand what it’s like to be you, but I want to love you until death do us part and keep trying to understand you. You got my heart, you got my soul and I want to fucking marry the shit out of you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam smiles and looks Caleb in the eyes. “Caleb. You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind as you. I love you more than anything in this life and I want to spend forever with you. Will you marry me?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Adam,” Caleb breaths. “Yes.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam takes the ring out of the box and takes Caleb’s hand in his own. He carefully slides the ring onto Caleb’s finger._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As soon as its on, Caleb pulls his hand away so he can do his own inspection. Adam just sits and watches, a dumb grin on his face._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb looks up from his marveling. “What?” he asks._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Nothing. Just thinking about how much I love you,” Adam says dreamily._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb laughs. “You fucking sap. Come here.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And they stay there for a long while, making out on the floor of Adam’s dorm, reveling in the feeling of each other’s rings against their skin, before moving to the bed, the laptop banished to the night stand._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

__ __ __ baby stronk: Dear Sister  
baby stronk: you are cordially invited to visit me this weekend with Chloe and bear witness to Adam and I doing something Very Stupid  
baby stronk: RSVP ASAP so we can figure out some deets  
baby stronk: Attendance permitted under the understanding that you cannot tell any parents about said Very Stupid Thing at any point until further notified  
baby stronk: Details of Very Stupid Thing will be provided upon arrival  
baby stronk: u in? 

__ __ __ big stronk: omg wtf r u planning??  
big stronk: of course im in  
big stronk: can u have chloe txt me asking me 2 come w/  
big stronk: in case mom asks  
big stronk: gotta have that good good paper trail 

_ _ _ _baby stronk: ye sure_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Super Trouper: we are a go for alice_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Babe <3: excellent_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb takes a big breath as he walks through the heavy doors of the courthouse, folder of photocopies in hand. Michigan thankfully is one of the states that let you apply for a marriage license with only one party present. In his folder, he’s got a copy of Adam’s birth certificate and social security card, as well as his own birth certificate and social security card._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The floor to ceiling marble is imposing as he walks into the huge foyer. Colors drift around Caleb and fill the empty space above him. He makes his way to the line in front of the frazzled receptionist, who’s doing her best to help everyone get where they need to go. She’s giving off a bright day glow orange color, which isn’t her fault, but Caleb still has to swallow the frustration down as he gets closer to the front of the line._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He puts on a big smile. “Hi, um. Where do I need to go to file for a marriage license?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Her face brightens immediately and the color backs down from day glow orange to a more respectable orange with a hint of yellow for happiness coming in to join it. “Oh, congratulations! That’ll be on the third floor, the receptionist there will show you to the correct office.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thank you!” Caleb says. He hopes her day goes better he thinks, as he walks to the elevator._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Thankfully, Caleb is alone in the elevator. The elevator music does nothing towards calming him down, and his leg bounces the whole way up as he leans against the back wall and idly scrolls through Twitter._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _All in all, the process takes about exactly as long as he planned for, and goes about as well as he could have hoped for empathy wise. A lot of bored, nervous, excited people, with the occasional spike of anger from someone who wasn’t getting their way, or who filled out a form improperly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He feels a bit nauseous from all of it, but now he’s a step closer to marrying Adam and he can’t keep the bounce out of his step as he heads back to his apartment._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam stand shoulder to shoulder outside of Caleb’s apartment, braving the cold November air. It’s dark out, but Caleb and Adam are illuminated by the street light overhead. Adam’s got his phone in his gloved hands and is furiously texting with someone, but he won't tell Caleb who it is. Caleb has a pretty good idea of who it is though. He's _also_ certain that about half of Adam’s furious gloved taps aren’t registering._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He can’t stop himself from checking back and forth between the clock and the street. Chloe and Alice will be driving up any minute now, provided they didn’t get lost. Which, is entirely possible even when it’s light out, and it’s why him and Adam are standing outside in the cold in the dark freezing their asses off._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Soon enough, Caleb sees Chloe’s yellow VW Beetle pulling around the corner and starts to wave. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe pulls into the parking space in front of them and Alice waves from the front seat. Caleb can already feel their excitement from where he’s standing._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Mawwiage,” Chloe says as she steps out of the car, her arms opened wide. “Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wuve, twue wuve, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah…” Chloe starts laughing and gives Adam a big hug. “Congratulations!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh my god!!!!!” Alice squeals as she hops out of the car and over to Caleb and Adam to give them a hug. “You’re getting married?? Holy shit!!!” Her excitement hits Caleb like a brick wall before wrapping around him like a familiar blanket. God, he missed his sister._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb laughs. “Yeah, we’re getting married.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Alice lifts him into a tight hug, pulling Caleb off the ground. “I’m so happy for you!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb laughs and hugs her back, almost as tight. (No one can give a hug as tight as Alice, but Caleb likes to think he gets close) He pushes at her arms to put him down. “Thanks.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Adam texted me about it on the way here,” Alice says as she moves to hug Adam. “And then Chloe told me about your grand plan.” She gives Adam a big hug and spins him around for good measure as Chloe hugs Caleb._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Congratulations!” she says, beaming. Chloe buries her face in his shoulder and hugs him tighter. “Everything’s fine, there's no need to worry,” she says quietly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I-” he quietly tries to protest, but Adam cuts them off._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Jesus, I love all of you, but can we _please_ go inside?” Adam begs, shivering._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They all laugh and shiver at the gust of wind that blows past_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah, yeah,” Caleb says. “You guys want to bring your suitcases in?” He asks._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Nah, we already dropped them off at the hotel,” Chloe says._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb feels a blip of a lie from her, but he has no idea why. He raises his eyebrow at her as they head inside, but all he gets is a shrug and a smile._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Inside, there isn’t nearly enough seating for everyone in the living room. Caleb’s halfway to suggesting someone grab a chair from the table before Adam climbs into his lap and slings his arms around Caleb’s neck._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb blushes just a little, because hey, his sister is sitting right there, but he’s not going to complain about having a lapful of fiancé to cuddle while they talk._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“So,” Chloe slaps her hands on her thighs.“What’s the timeline like for the next couple days?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam look at each other. “Uhhhh…”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe sighs. “Okay. Let’s start simple. When is the ceremony tomorrow?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“4:30,” Caleb and Adam say together._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay,” Chloe says. “And do you have any plans for tomorrow besides getting married?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _After neither Caleb nor Adam says anything, Chloe barrels on._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Alright. Alice and figured as much, so we came up with a plan on the drive over. What do you guys say to letting Alice and I run the show?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“”Uh,” Caleb says._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That sounds g-” Adam begins._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Great!” Chloe says and stands up. “Adam, you’re coming with me.” She starts heading for the door._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam whips his head around to look at her, nearly whacking Caleb in the process. “What, why? You just got here!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Actually, you’re right,” Chloe pauses at the door and turns around. “Thank you for the reminder, Alice. Both of you come with me, I need to see what you’re planning on wearing tomorrow.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay….” Caleb and Adam both get up from the chair and lead Chloe to Caleb’s bedroom._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Inside, it’s a bit untidy. Neither of them thought anyone would actually _see_ the bedroom, so they hadn’t bothered to clean it up. Adam’s suitcase lies open in front of the closet, still mostly packed. He’s only in town for the weekend and didn’t feel like putting it away in his drawer. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He has his own drawer in Caleb’s closet both in his apartment and at his parent’s house, and Adam’s still stupidly happy at that fact. He’s been slowly migrating some of his clothes over, but it’s hard to pick which of his shirts he can’t see for months at a time. Caleb has a drawer in Adam’s bedroom at home, but in his dorm he just has a few t-shirts shoved in the back of one of Adam’s drawers, since Adam needs all the space he can get. It’s not a perfect system, but it works. And if Adam just _happens_ to grab one of Caleb’s shirts instead of one of his own… then oh well. Guess he’ll just have to suffer with the smell of Caleb following him around all day. Oh darn. Oh no. Whatever shall he do._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam steps over his suitcase and pulls his and Caleb’s button ups out of the closet and presents them to Chloe, before diving back in to fish out the ties from the shopping bag on the floor. He hands them to Chloe, who takes them and loops them over the hangers to lay against the shirts._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oooo, I love this,” she coos._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam loves the outfits too. Caleb’s shirt is a lovely shade of yellow, and Adam’s is a soft blue, and they have matching green ties. Caleb and Adam went shopping that morning and Caleb had spent a good long while picking out the perfect shirts and ties to match the colors of their emotions. They also bought brand new matching pairs of rainbow Converse too. He and Caleb both agree that they don't want to do anything super fancy for the wedding. No tuxes, no vests, and no powder blue suits either._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe hands Caleb his shirt and tie and keeps a hold on Adam’s. “Now that we’ve got that sorted, pack up your suitcase, say your goodbyes, and come with me.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam’s so confused. “Okayyyy?” he says and follows her orders. He mashes everything into his suitcase and gives Caleb a quick peck on the lips._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“See you later?” Adam says confusedly. What the fuck is going on??? He was expecting a quiet evening in with his fiance_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Alice clears her throat. “Um, Chloe, I think you forgot something.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What, no I did— OH! Ohhhhh, my bad.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We’re going to be splitting you guys up tonight. Adam, you’ll come to the hotel, and Caleb, you’ll stay here at the apartment. After all, it *is* bad luck to see each other before the wedding, even if the wedding _is_ a secret elopement,” Alice says._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I-”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Bu-”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam try to protest._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“But where will Alice sleep!” Caleb says._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m staying here with you, dummy,” Alice says, smiling._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“But what about all your stuff!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh, it’s still in the trunk!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You had this all planned then!” Caleb accuses._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Of course we did, Caleb. Don’t be so dense. I thought college was supposed to make you smarter.” Alice turns and starts walking to the front door. “I’m going to go get my suitcase now!” She hollers back._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The next morning is… Rough._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Fuck, what if we’re making some big mistake. What if mom and dad hate me forever when they find out! What if I forget to take my ring off and Dad sees it and then yells at me! Oh, god, what if Dad yells at me. What if _mom_ yells at me, they haven’t yelled at me in years. What if I have to feel their emotions change to hate, oh fuck.” Caleb paces around the living room, hands on his head._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay, first of all, Dad’s not gonna notice shit, he’s even denser than you,” Alice says and grabs Caleb’s hand. “Secondly, they’re not going to hate you. They didn’t hate you for joining the football team, they didn’t hate you when you punched those guys at school, they didn’t hate you after Damien. There’s nothing you could do outside of like, becoming a serial killer that would make them hate you, and even then they’d still probably love you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and focuses on Alice’s calm emotions._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“They still might yell at you though.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb’s eyes pop back open._ _ _ _

_ _ _ __“Alice,”_ he bats her on the arm. “Shut the fuck up, you’re making things worse, shithead.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Caleb, everything’s going to be _fine_. Nobody’s going to stop loving you or hate you or whatever other terrible thing your brain has come up with this time. Now come on, we don't want to be late.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb sighs and follows Alice out the door. “Yeah, okay you’re right. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb scowls. “Just. Don’t tell Adam, okay? I don’t want him to know I had any doubts”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We’ll see!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Over at the hotel, it isn’t going much better._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Chloe, did you know that 60 percent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce??” Adam wails, and flops face first into the mattress, phone out in front of him. He’s got an article loaded up on his phone that he waves dramatically above his head. He lifts his head. “And we aren’t even 20 yet! We’ve basically doomed ourselves before we’ve even started.” Adam rolls over and starfishes across the bed and stares up at the ceiling. “Oh my god, this is a disaster, what the fuck are we even doing! We’ve got nothing going for us! We’re both working shitty minimum wage part time jobs, we’re _so_ fucking young, we’ve got _no_ degrees, _and, And!_ We’re going to be back in a fucking long distance relationship tomorrow! What if he finds some cute girl who’s feelings are nicer than mine, and who isn’t fucking depressed like me, and goes to the same school as him and he wants to leave me for her, but he can’t because we got married at 19!! Fuck!” Adam takes a deep breath and wipes away the tears welling up. “Jesus, Chloe, what if we’re fucking up the best thing that’s ever happened to us just to pull a fast one on the government so we can get cheaper college.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe looks over from where she’s putting on her outfit. “Adam. Everything is going to be _fine_. You and Caleb are going to blow all of those stats out of the water. You love each other. I know that, Alice knows that, everyone who looks at you knows that. Now turn your phone off and come help me with this stupid button.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam reluctantly rolls off of the bed and helps her. “Yeah, but what if he gets tired of me and my depression.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe spins around and takes Adam’s face in her hands. “What are you?” she demands._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“An idiot sandwich?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That’s right, an idiot sandwich. But you are also a kind, smart, funny, wonderful human being who has depression and Caleb knows that and loves that and loves every single part of you good and bad. Sometimes worse is punching a man almost to death, sometimes it’s really bad depression, and that’s what marriage is all about. Having someone there through the bad times who won't abandon you. If Caleb divorces you because of your depression, I’ll be the first in line to kick his ass for you, right in front of Alice and all of your friends. And I don’t know if you know this? But some of them have superpowers like _fire_. What’s Caleb going to do, empathy them until they yield? I don’t think so.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam smiles. “Yeah, okay, you’re right.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Damn right I am.” Chloe claps Adam on both cheeks and picks up her backpack. “Ready to go?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah, let’s do this.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Outside the courthouse, Caleb and Alice wait for Chloe and Adam to arrive._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“How you holding up?” Alice asks Caleb, giving him a once over._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Pretty good,” Caleb’s got a dumb look on his face and grabs her arm. “Yo, Alice, after this, Adam’s going to be _mine_ and I’m going to be _his_,” he whispers, grinning. “God, I’m so fucking excited!” He looks up to see Chloe turn the corner and can’t seem to peel the grin off his face._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe pulls into the parking spot next to where Caleb and Alice are waiting. Caleb’s bouncing up and down, in time with Adam’s leg jiggling anxiously in the passenger seat._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As soon as the car stops, Adam is unbuckling his seatbelt and bolting into Caleb’s waiting arms. They kiss and Caleb’s heart goes _boom_. God, he can’t wait to get married._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They part and Chloe pulls a beaming Caleb and Adam aside._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“So. Adam. I know that you aren’t religious, but I also know that your culture is super important to you. And my guess is that the ceremony is going to be super Christian. So, if you want, Alice and I have prepped a few things so your special day can be a little more Jewish.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe opens up her backpack and pulls out a folder and hands it to Adam. “I printed this out for you and decorated the border. It’s in English because I didn’t trust a generator to translate it properly.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam lets go of Caleb’s hand to open the folder and nearly drops it once he sees what’s inside._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Inside the folder is a beautifully decorated Ketubah. The traditional Jewish wedding contract, instead of the usual heteronormative “groom promises to love his wife,” has been re-written for two grooms._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _This is. This is something Adam never thought he’d have. He presses the ketubah to his heart as his other hand flies to his mouth in surprise._ _ _ _

_ _ _ __“Chloe,”_ he breathes. He’s starting to tear up already._ _ _ _

_ _ _ __“And,”_ Chloe pulls out something else from her bag. “We got these for you too. There’s also one for Caleb if he wants one._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam takes the yarmulkes from her. They’re fancier than the ones he has at home (all three of them). They’re blue with gold stitching swirling around. He offers one to Caleb. “D’you want to wear one?” He asks hoarsely. “‘Cause like. You don't have to if you don't want to. But I have to offer you one because of traditions and shit.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Fuck, he’s babbling. The most important day of his life and he’s babbling like a fucking idiot, blathering on about traditions._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb smiles softly, breaking the spell before Adam can spiral even further. “I’d love to, babe.” He puts the yarmulke on the top of his head and Adam tugs on his sleeve so Caleb will bend down so he can fix the placement. Adam kisses Caleb on the forehead before putting his own on._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe sets the Ketubah on the hood of the car and offers a pen to Caleb and Adam. “Who wants to go first?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb takes the pen from her and bends over the Ketubah. “I will.” He signs his full name in black ink, taking care to make it neat and not just a scrawl across the page. He hands the pen to Adam. Their fingers brush as Adam takes the pen and it sends a shiver up his spine._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam signs his name next to Caleb’s and passes the pen to Alice. “Will you be my witness?” he asks her. Technically, they’re supposed to have witnesses who aren’t related to either of them, but Alice is close enough. Technically, their witnesses are traditionally supposed to both be men, but fuck that noise._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Really?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam smiles. “Of course.” he points to the spot under his name where she is supposed to sign._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Alice signs her name slowly, making sure her signature is neat and legible. Adam can see her concentrating on not pressing down too hard. When she’s done, she holds out the pen to Adam, who takes it and passes it to Caleb._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb offers the pen to Chloe. “Would you be my witness?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes, of course,” Chloe says, smiling._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She signs her name quickly and finishes it off with a slight flourish. When she’s done, she pockets the pen and puts the Ketubah back in the folder._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam turn towards the front door of the courthouse._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay. Let’s do this thing.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam and Caleb walk into the courthouse hand in hand, pressed tightly against each other. Caleb can’t tell who’s squeezing tighter; him or Adam. He can feel the nerves bouncing around Adam and himself, ping ponging in every direction. He holds Adam’s hand like a lifeline and knows Adam is doing the same with his hand._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The walk through to the courtroom is a blur. Caleb’s focus is solely on Adam and their shared emotions. Its almost overwhelming him, but somehow he makes it, checks in, and soon him and Adam are taking their places in front of the judge’s stand, hands still clasped tight, Alice and Chloe standing behind Caleb and Adam respectively._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam’s fucking glowing with how happy he is, both in the traditional sense and in a way that only Caleb can truly see. Adam’s emotions are lit up like a lightbulb right now. And even though both their emotions are _yellow yellow yellow_ Caleb still feels _green green green_. He barely hears the judge with how distracted he his by watching his beautiful fiancé and all the emotions swirling around them._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Caleb William Michaels. Do you take Adam Whitney Hayes to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb’s heart swells. "I do" And he does. They aren’t just empty words, he means it. He’s in it for the long haul._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Now, repeat after me,” the judge continues._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb dutifully repeats after the judge, even though he knows these next words by heart. He’s thought about them a lot over the past two years since the Damien incident._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I, Caleb, take you, Adam, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward. For better and for worse,” at this, Adam kisses Caleb’s hands clasped with his, right where Caleb’s scars are. And that’s what does it for Caleb. The happy tears he’s been holding in since they started the ceremony start pouring out and Caleb has to take a shaky breath before continuing. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The judge smiles and turns her attention to Adam._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Adam Whitney Hayes. Do you take Caleb William Michaels to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam feels like a soda can about to burst. “I do,” he says, beaming. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb’s never seen or felt or heard Adam happier than he is in this moment. It’s better than acceptance into Yale, it's better than first kisses, its stronger than every happy moment that’s come before this._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Now, repeat after me,” the judge says, and Adam does._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I, Adam, take you, Caleb, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward. For better and for worse,” at this, Caleb squeezes Adam’s hands tight, and Adam squeezes back. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam’s hands still clasped, Chloe and Alice walk forward, beckoned by the judge, the rings in their hands._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe passes Caleb Adam’s ring and moves back to her spot standing behind Adam._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Alice moves to hand Adam Caleb’s ring, but holds onto his hand, not giving it up like she’s supposed to. “I am honored to have you as my new brother, and to be your sister,” she says quietly, before releasing his hand and giving him the ring._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam gives Alice a soft smile, and mouths “thank you” to her as she stands back in her spot behind Caleb. Alice smiles too and gives him a nod back._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam turns his attention back to Caleb as Caleb takes his left hand ever so gently and looks Adam dead in the eyes._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I give you this ring to wear, as a symbol of my abiding love, my undying devotion, and the promise of all my tomorrows,” Caleb vows. “You are the love of my life, and you are my very best friend. I ask you to wear it as a sign to the world that you are my husband.” Caleb pauses, and looks down at Adam’s hand as he slips the ring onto Adam’s finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.” Caleb brushes his thumb across the ring on Adam’s finger, and Adam has to hold in a shiver of excitement._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam takes Caleb’s hand in his, brushing his thumb over the scars where the ring is about to go. He meant the vows then, and he means them now. Adam takes a deep breath before saying the words back to Caleb. “I give you this ring to wear, as a symbol of my abiding love, my undying devotion, and the promise of all my tomorrows,” Adam vows, looking deep into Caleb’s gorgeous green eyes. He can see the flecks of blue and yellow too, and he could drown in those eyes. “You are the love of my life, and you are my very best friend. I ask you to wear it as a sign to the world that you are my husband.” Adam looks down at Caleb’s hand as he slips the ring onto Caleb’s finger and wills his hands not to shake. “With this ring, I thee wed.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam can tell the both of them are holding in the urge to surge forward and kiss each other. He resists rocking back and forth impatiently, but it’s a damn near thing. Adam wills the judge to hurry up so he can kiss his husband. His heart swoops at the thought. _Husband_. Daydream Adam would be so proud._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And then finally:_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Well gentlemen,” the judge says. “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam can hear Alice and Chloe whooping in the background, and he’s pretty sure Chloe shouts “You may kiss the dork!”, but he doesn't care, because he’s grabbing his husband’s face and kissing the fuck out of him._ _ _ _

~~~ 

_ _ _ _Outside, Alice stops them in the parking lot while Chloe digs around in her bag again._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh, I’m so happy for you two!” she says and gathers both of them in a hug and spins them around. “Caleb, you best treat Adam right, okay?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Hey... “ Caleb says in mock protest. “I thought you were _my_ sister!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes, well, Adam’s the newest addition and I like him better than you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam laughs. “I fucking love you two.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe steps in again and hands Adam a white cloth wrapped… something._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Careful with this, its fragile.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam peels back the cloth to reveal a wine glass._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Holy shit Chloe, you two really thought of everything.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Alice smiles and holds up her phone. “Google helped a lot,” she says, shaking it a little. “Chloe and I went shopping yesterday and bought that from a thrift store, so you don't have to feel bad about breaking it.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam hands the glass to Caleb and gives Chloe and Alice a tight hug. “Thank you so fucking much. You have no idea how much this fucking means to me.” Adam pulls away and wipes a tear from his eye._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Alright, give me that.” Adam takes the glass from Caleb and re-wraps it before putting it on the ground._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Explain to me this next tradition, oh wise one,” Caleb says, smiling._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam smiles and kisses his husband on the cheek because he can. “So, the idea is that when you break the glass, you seal the covenant, the contract, of the marriage, and you scare the demons away from the happy couple.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It also symbolizes the hymen breaking, so that’s fun!” Alice pipes up._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam both flush. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Jesus, Alice you can’t just say shit like that,” Caleb complains._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What, I’m 15, I’m not dead! Google is a blessing and a curse.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I. Did not know that.” Adam says. “But yeah. It’s a Jewish wedding staple, and who doesn't like breaking things,”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m down for a little shattering,” Caleb says, grinning._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam hold onto each other as they raise their feet above the glass and stomp down. The glass shatters with a satisfying POP!_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Mazel tov!!!” Chloe and Alice cheer, and Caleb and Adam kiss again._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay you love birds. One last tradition for today. You two go hang out in Caleb’s car for 18 minutes and be mushy new marrieds, while Alice and I give you lots of space way over there.” Chloe points to a convenience store across the street. “We’ll come get you when your time is up.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb and Adam climb into the back seat of Caleb’s Toyota and wave back at Chloe and Alice as they disappear around the corner to go cross the street. Caleb feels their emotions leave his range and breathes a sigh of relief. Now all he can feel is Adam’s joy, somehow brighter and clearer than it already was. He pulls Adam into a hug and just holds him, burying his face in Adam’s curls._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They stay like that for a couple minutes, just breathing and holding each other. Adam’s emotions still feel like cotton candy on Caleb’s tongue, and he tilts up Adam’s head so he can share that with Adam._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What was that for?” Adam asks softly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb hums. “‘Cause I looooove you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You fucking sap,” Adam grins and caresses Caleb’s face. “I love you, meathead. I’m so fucking happy we’re married.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I love you too, dork,” Caleb breaths. “I’m so fucking happy we’re married too.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam pulls Caleb into the softest kiss, and Caleb’s heart explodes. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb’s heart is simultaneously going a million miles an hour and not beating at all. He’s so happy he feels like he could burst, as his soul settles into satisfied fulfillment at being married to Adam. He didn’t know his own emotions could feel like this, slot so perfectly into place even after years of having his power. He’s still finding new things about himself and his power every day, and he can’t believe he gets to share those new things with Adam for forever.  
He tells Adam as much when they part._ _ _ _

_ _ _ __”Jesus,_ Caleb,” Adam breaths and pulls Caleb in for a blistering kiss. Caleb pulls away to talk and Adam immediately starts peppering Caleb with kisses wherever he can reach._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay, but,” Caleb says in between kisses and laughter. “I can’t _wait_ until this summer when we can see each other all the time. Maybe we can like, get an apartment together or something? Green was telling me that they can pay me more and give me more hours this summer, and with all that money we’re saving from the FAFSA, I was thinking...?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam pauses in his worship. “Yes, yes, yes, that sounds like a fucking perfect plan.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We can talk about it later, but god, that’d be fucking amazing if we could pull it off.” Caleb gasps as Adam switches to nibbling at his earlobe. “And one day, we’re gonna fucking live in the same apartment the whole year round and its gonna be _awesome_.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“God, I can’t wait.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb hums in agreement. “Just two more years,” he sighs._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam pulls back. “Two and a half, babe,” he pouts._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes, well, I’m rounding,” Caleb says loftily._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Uh huh. Riiight.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb opens his mouth to argue back, but right then Alice knocks on the window._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb buries his face in Adam’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna go,” he whines._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam laughs. “Suck it up you big baby. The day’s not over yet.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe taps on the window and Caleb and Adam reluctantly get out of the car to talk._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay, you two, I know you guys want to go be mushy and in love in Caleb’s apartment, but Alice and I aren’t done with you yet.” She holds up Sam’s credit card. “_We’ve_ got dinner reservations.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Dinner is great. They spend the whole time laughing in between bites of delicious food. Alice tells embarrassing stories about Caleb, and to make sure Adam doesn’t feel left out, Chloe tells the embarrassing stories that come to Adam’s mind after every story about Caleb. She’s gotten better at figuring out what to leave alone in people’s thoughts, and it’s a wonderful evening all around._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe stops the two of them as they try to head to their cars. Alice and Chloe to their hotel room, Caleb and Adam back to Caleb’s itty bitty apartment. Caleb can feel something strange coming off of her, but he can’t quite place it._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Come back to the hotel with Alice and me, We’ve got a suuuurprise for you!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam raises his eyebrow at her, “_Again,_ really?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It’s the last one, I promise. It’ll be worth it._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb sighs. “_Fine._”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chloe and Alice leave first. Caleb and Adam walk slowly back to the car, hands clasped, swinging their arms between them._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _When they park, Chloe and Alice are already there, waiting outside the door. Caleb feels that weird feeling from Chloe again, and this time it’s coming from Alice too. They’re both smiling, which isn’t that weird, but still. Something isn’t quite right._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As they walk up, Chloe hands Caleb a little sleeve from the hotel with two room keys in it. “Here’s Alice and I’s cards, the room number’s written on the back. We’re gonna get some hot chocolate from the lobby, we’ll meet you up there in a couple minutes.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay!” Adam says and starts making his way to the elevator. Adam pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through twitter, taking advantage of already being connected to the hotel wifi as Caleb presses the button for the top floor._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb pulls out his own phone as a distraction from the emotions passing by as they go up and up and up. It makes him feel weird and a little nauseous. Eventually, though, the elevator stops and Adam and Caleb step out into the hall._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Their room is all the way at the end of the hall, and the farther they walk, the less emotions Caleb feels from other rooms. It’s an unforeseen bit of privacy and calmness that Caleb wasn’t expecting. Caleb pulls out one of the key cards and unlocks the door, pulling a still distracted Adam in along with him. He flips on the lights and comes to a dead stop. Adam crashes into him, but Caleb doesn’t even react, too shocked by what’s in front of him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Caleb, what is i-” Adam moves so he’s standing next to Caleb and he gasps, seeing what Caleb has already noticed._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _This is not the room Adam had stayed in the night before._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Instead of two queen beds, there's one massive king sized bed with white sheets and a red blanket. The bed and floor are covered in rose petals. Adam’s suitcase and Caleb’s backpack are stashed against the far wall of the hotel room. On the bed is the ice bucket with what looks like champagne, but as they get closer, they realize that it’s just sparkling apple cider. Next to the ice bucket is a small chocolate cake with two grooms decorated in icing._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam picks up the white envelope with their names on it and opens it. Inside is a white card with congratulations written across it in golden script. Adam flips open the card and reads it out loud:_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“To the new Mr. and Mr. Hayes-Michaels,_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Congratulations again from Alice and I! We both love you guys so much and wanted to give you something special. So, courtesy of Sam’s credit card and a free upgrade from the front desk, you get the honeymoon suite!!! (Don’t worry about Sam. If she asks, Alice and I got separate rooms because of my power.) Enjoy yourselves and know that Alice and I are far, far away, many floors below you on the opposite side of the building._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Love, Alice and Chloe_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Holy shit Caleb,” Adam breaths, tucking the card back into the envelope._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What the fuck.” Caleb just gapes, mouth opening and closing, but no other words come out._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam takes the initiative and moves the cake and the ice bucket to the table in the corner. He toes off his shoes and kicks them so they’re out of the way and starts pouring themselves glasses of sparkling cider. Chloe and Alice had provided them with two champagne flutes, probably from their thrift store trip._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Here, baby.” Adam offers one of the glasses to Caleb._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb startles out of his shocked state and takes the glass from Adam, toeing off his shoes as he goes and kicking them over by Adam’s._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They sit together on the edge of the bed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“To us?” Adam asks, suddenly shy._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“To us,” Caleb says, surely._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They clink their glasses together and the chime rings through their souls._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _After cake pictures and cake eating and photos of hands and rings, Caleb and Adam stand in the middle of the hotel room, swaying back and forth to Adam’s first playlist for Caleb. It’s not really slow dancing music, but neither of them cares._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam’s head is resting on Caleb’s chest, and he listens to the soft _thump thump_ of Caleb’s heartbeat in time with his own. Caleb’s head rests on Adam’s his thumb making slow circles against Adam’s waist._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _All they feel is each other, the other guests too far away for Caleb’s power to reach. Every kiss tastes like chocolate and the music plays softly from the speaker. Their eyes are closed and all they do is breath, unwinding from their perfect busy day._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb sits on the hotel bed, the arm of a naked sleeping Adam slung over his waist. He still hasn’t fallen asleep yet, too wrapped up in his own anxiety. He’d slept for maybe 30 minutes or so after the frankly amazing sex they’d had earlier, but that was it. He feels bone tired, but his mind won’t let him sleep, still racing with thoughts about what a _stupid_ thing him and Adam had just done. He’s got a stone in his stomach the size of a golf ball that just won’t go away, no matter how much he picks at it. None of his mindfulness exercises are helping. He needs to talk to _someone_, but who? Certainly not Dr. Bright, who would undoubtedly tell their parents the moment he got off the phone, patient confidentiality be damned. He needed someone more neutral. Someone with more experience with pissing off parents._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb carefully extracts himself from Adam’s grasp and pulls on his(?) boxers before grabbing his phone off the nightstand._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _There’s no good place to do this without waking up Adam other than the bathroom, so Caleb closes the door behind himself and sits on the cold tile floor. He squints at the bright light of his phone as he pulls up Mark’s contact information._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Mark had told him two years ago, after the Damien Incident, that Caleb could call him at any time, for any thing, and _god_ does Caleb hope that’s still true. He hits call and the phone rings for a while. He’s about to hang up, when:_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“H’lo?” Mark says groggily._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Mark, Adam and I just did something _really_ fucking dumb and I feel like I’ve ruined everything and everyone’s gonna be fucking pissed at us when they find out, and I’m worried that Adam’s gonna wake up in the morning and realize that I’ve ruined his life and he’s gonna break up with me,” Caleb blurts out. He chokes back a sob. Fuck._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Jesus, Caleb, what did you do?” Mark asks concernedly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb screws his eyes shut against the tears. “We got married,” he whispers, barely audible to his own ears._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Huh?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We got married,” he says louder._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“YOU _what!?_” Mark yells then whispers. There’s some murmuring on the other side of the phone. Caleb hears a quiet “don’t worry about it baby. Go back to sleep”, before Mark starts talking again, this time not whispering._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Sorry about that, I accidentally woke Oliver and Alex up. So. Start from the beginning. What exactly happened?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb feels a sharp pang of guilt at waking Mark up. It mixes horribly with the stone in his stomach and makes him nauseous. “Fuck, I’m sorry, it’s late I shouldn’t have woken you up.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Hold up there buddy,” Mark stops him before Caleb can say goodbye and hang up. “Not so fast. I told you. Anytime, anywhere, about anything. Now spill. You got married. You’re panicking. Start at the beginning and tell me what the fuck got you here.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb tells him everything. How he came up with the plan in the first place, how exactly it went down, how they weren’t planning on telling anyone except for Alice and Chloe._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _How they aren’t going to tell their parents._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb sniffles. “Can. I mean, do you think he’s gonna break up with me? Realize that I’m not worth the trouble of pissing off his parents and leave me in the middle of the night? God, do you think he’s gonna never want to speak to me again?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Caleb, listen,” Mark says. “That boy, that _man_ loves you so much. I don’t have to be in the same room as you to know that. And I’m sure he’s already told you that a hundred times today, because it’s true. Caleb, you’re a worst case scenario type of person, whether you admit to it or not. You’re going to have many happy years together and you’re going to grow old together, and no one can stop you. Are your parents going to be mad if and when they find out? Yeah. But what are they gonna do, prevent you from marrying each other?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb gives a little smile. “I guess you’re right.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No, I _know_ I’m right. Now go and cuddle with your husband. And congratulations, by the way.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb smiles wider this time. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna go do that. Thank you Mark.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No problem. Goodnight, Caleb.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Goodnight, Mark."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb stands up from the hard bathroom floor, body aching, fully intending to sneak back into bed and cuddle with his husband(!!!!), but when he opens the door, he’s greeted by the sight of Adam in his University of Michigan hoodie. He’s absolutely drowning in it and he looks so fucking cute as he rubs his eyes, the too long arm of the hoodie draped over his hand._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What are you doing up?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I woke up and you were gone, so I went to come look for you.” he sways slightly, a little off kilter with how tired he is._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Caleb can tell the second Adam sees the phone. His emotions change and he stands up a little straighter._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What’s wrong?” Adam asks, tilting his head to the side. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Mmm, don't worry about it. I’ll tell you in the morning.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Adam frowns, and Caleb knows he doesn't believe him, but Adam lets it drop._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Come back to bed, babe.” Adam takes Caleb’s hand in his and tugs him back to bed. They collapse, tangled up in each other, and Caleb only has enough time to whisper a sleepy “I love you” into Adam’s curls before he finally falls fast asleep, content._ _ _ _


	2. Eggnog, Taxes, and how they fuck you over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb is really bad at keeping secrets. But in his defense, it's not _really_ his fault.
> 
> Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful MaikaMaika. Any mistakes left are all mine.
> 
> I'm a day late from safe house, but whatever. I added 2k to this last night.
> 
> I realized while writing that this whole fic is a very long 5+1, where its 5 times Caleb blabs and I guess 1 time Adam spills the beans instead?? IDK.

Caleb Michaels is friends with everyone in the AM, but today was the first time it ever bit him in the ass.

At the beginning of winter break, Caleb dutifully filled out his tax forms and turned them in to HR. He and Adam had spent an hour frantically googling and agonizing whether to pick “married filing jointly” or “married filing separately”.

The form submitted, Caleb went about his life like nothing had changed.

The form, on the other hand, went on a whirlwind through the HR department. 

First, it went to one of Mags’ lackies, Finn, who shunted it off to Mags as soon as they saw the mistake. It was above their pay grade to fix tax problems. And since Caleb was their first and so far only intern under the new administration, his position was a bit more fluid than their other employees. Nobody in HR had quite figured out what they were doing with him, since he was effectively the seasonal employee version of an intern.

So off the form went, on its grand tour of the HR department. It got placed in Mags’ incoming pile, with a bright orange sticky note on it labeled URGENT.

Taxes need to be done in a timely manner for new employees, since they _are_ a government agency and employees do need to pay their taxes. And get paid. That’s also important.

Unfortunately for the government, Mags was out of town for her cousin’s wedding. So there it sat, at the top of her pile, waiting.

When Finn realized that payday was coming up and Mags was still out of the office, they grabbed the form from the top of the pile, and brought it to Owen. (Joan was shit at paperwork, so Owen had volunteered to take over any HR paperwork emergencies while Mags was out.)

“What’s this?”

“Caleb’s tax form has a mistake on it, and payday is tomorrow. I need him to fix it, but protocol requires a supervisor to talk to him, not me.”

“And I’m the supervisor.”

“While Mags is out, yes. And you’re Caleb’s direct supervisor anyways.”

“Alright, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I’ll look it over and then call him in, okay? You’ll have your corrected form by the end of the day.”

“Thank you.” Finn left, closing the door behind themself.

Owen opened the file and pulled out the print out of Caleb’s form. He started scanning the fields and exemptions and found the problem immediately.

Caleb, for whatever reason, had marked “married filing jointly” on his form.

Owen scanned the rest of the form, trying to tell if it was just a slip up, an extra one where there shouldn’t have been. But no. Caleb had filled out the form correctly, as if he was, in fact, married.

Maybe he just got confused? Caleb was only 19 after all. 19 year olds can’t always be expected to read forms clearly, especially in the earlier days of entering the workforce.

Well. There was only one way to find out.

“Caleb Michaels, please come down to my office right away. There’s something urgent I need to discuss with you.”

***

Caleb winces as Agent Green’s voice blares out of the speakers.

“Fuck.”

“Ooooo, you’re in trouble,” Jackson says as Caleb turns to head towards Agent Green’s office. Jackson claps him on the shoulder. “May God have mercy on your soul.”

“Thanks.”

Caleb makes his way through the halls of the AM slower than he usually would. He racks his brain trying to think of what Agent Green could possibly want to talk to him about. Eventually though, before he can think of an answer, his long legs have brought him to Agent Green’s door sooner than he anticipated.

Caleb knocks.

“Come in,” Agent Green calls from the other side of the door.

Caleb opens the door slowly. “You wanted to see me?” He holds in the “sir” that threatens to jump out. Agent Green insists on Caleb not calling him sir, and would rather be called by his first name, but Caleb just can’t bring himself to do it.

“Ah, yes, Caleb. Come in, please.”

Caleb enters the office and closes the door behind himself. Manhole, Agent Green’s service dog, is laying on the floor next to his desk, eyes closed. She opens one eye lazily and gives Caleb a once over before going back to her nap.

“Take a seat.” Agent Green gestures to the front of the desk.

Caleb sits in the padded chair in front of Agent Green’s desk. “What’s this about?” He asks tentatively. He scans the desk trying to see if he can get any insight into the situation. His eyes catch on a printout of his W-4 form and he tenses slightly. Hopefully too slight for Agent Green to notice.

“So, it was brought to my attention that you messed up on your W-4,” Agent Green begins, folding his hands. “I’ve looked it over, and you seemed to have filled it out as if you were married.”

Ah. So that’s what this was about. Caleb squirms slightly in his chair. He wishes he could call Adam and discuss this with him. They had no backup plan for this, no pre prepared lie in case anyone asked. They thought they’d have months to come up with something, not the One Singular Month that life has given them. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Did you copy someone else’s form and just change the salary numbers? Your parents, perhaps?” He hands the form over to Caleb. 

This was his out. Agent Green was laying it all out for him, doing the heavy lifting. He could do it, he could lie and take back the whole thing. Except for one tiny thing.

Caleb takes the form from Agent Green and turns it back around before handing it back to him. “No, it’s right,” he says, pointing to his name.

CALEB W HAYES-MICHAELS is written in all caps across the top of the form.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” Caleb sits back in the chair, leaving the form on the desk between them.

“Oh goodness. How long?” Agent Green asks weakly and takes a sip from his “world’s best dad” mug.

Caleb picks at his nails. “About a month.”

Agent Green chokes. “A _month_? Jesus Christ Caleb.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just as surprised as you, okay? I wasn’t exactly expecting to tell you today.”

“Who else knows? Why wasn’t I told earlier?”

“Ah. Yeah.” Caleb holds up a hand and starts counting on his fingers. “Me, and Adam, obviously. Alice, Chloe, Mark, I guess you now, and that’s it.”

“That’s _it?_”

Caleb nods. “That’s it.”

“But what about your parents? Or Ellie?”

“We. Uh. Eloped? Secretly?”

“Joan’s going to kill me… oh god wait, _Ellie’s_ going to kill me.” Agent Green buries his face in his hands and groans.

“You can’t tell them,” Caleb says, rushed. “They’re going to be so fucking pissed at us when they find out. You can’t tell them, or our parents. Adam and I need to be the ones to tell them if need be, on our terms. Adam’s parents would murder me for denying them the big wedding of their dreams for their precious only child.”

He looks up at Caleb. “No, no, I would never. It’s not my place.” Agent Green tilts his head slightly. “But why get married?” he asks.

Caleb scowls and crosses his arms, leaning back farther in the chair. “Because we’re in love,” he says defensively, tilting his chin at Agent Green.

“Alright,” Agent Green nods slowly. “But why _now,_ when you’re _19_.”

Caleb sighs. “Because college is expensive,” he mumbles.

“What?”

“Because college is expensive,” he says a little louder.

_“Caleb, please._ But what about scholarships? Surely you and Adam must have scholarships.” Agent Green asked weakly.

Caleb squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “Yeah, well. Adam’s got a bunch, sure, but my grades got fucked over by my ability. And yeah, I’ve got a better control over it now, but I can’t exactly tell my school or the companies giving out scholarships that I’ve got a fucking superpower that made it difficult to concentrate in high school. And most scholarships are for low amounts anyways. And yeah they add up, but I wanna be a therapist!” 

Caleb throws his hands in the air. “I want to help people, but I can’t _do that_ without a fucking PhD!” His hands clench into fists. “Which is even more school, which is even more money, which I don’t have! And I _know_ Adam wants to go to grad school too and get his masters or his PhD so he can teach and do research and shit, and I don’t want him to feel like he can’t just because _I_ picked a career that needs a fuckton of school and he can technically get by without it. That’s not fair to him, to make him make that choice. I want to be a good husband, but fuck. Having to not pay as many student loans back makes it so much easier.” Caleb lets out a shakier breath than he expected and looks at his hands.

“_Caleb_.” 

Agent Green pauses, and Caleb can feel his emotions rapidly flickering from one to the next, before landing on a familiar one. Caring, like the kind he feels from his parents, or Dr. Bright sometimes. It’s not something he’s ever felt from Agent Green before. At least, not directed towards him.

“Caleb, how long have you been holding all this in?” Agent Green asks.

“Which part?”

“Any of it. All of it.”

Caleb scratches his head. “Um. It’s been low key on the back of my mind since the start of freshman year. But I talked with the financial aid people at the beginning of October and I've been stressing about all of this ever since.”

“Don’t you have someone you can talk to about this? Like Mark, or your therapist?”

“Ah. yeah.” Caleb blushes. “Look, the honeymoon period is a bitch, and I may have forgot. Married life is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

Agent Green chuckles a little and writes something on a pad of paper. “This is my personal cell phone and email. Feel free to call or email at any time, and I’ll do my best to get back to you as soon as I possibly can. Life advice, help with your taxes, relationship advice, whatever you need. I know you have Mark you can talk to, but I want you to know that I’m here too.” He rips the sheet of paper off the pad and gives it to Caleb.

“Relationship advice? As far as I’m aware, your last major relationship ended because you were aiding with kidnapping her brother.”

Agent Green smiles. “And I think you’ll find that nowadays I’m a big supporter of telling the truth and not keeping secrets from your partner.”

Caleb laughs. “Hey, me too. How are you with texting?” Caleb asks as he takes the slip of paper and pulls out his phone.

Agent Green looks up from where he’s writing on a new sheet of paper. “Better at it than Joan is, that’s for sure.”

Caleb smiles.

“My niece and nephew text me rather frequently and keep me up to date on the latest memes. They get a kick out of introducing me to new ones and they think its funny that it helps people like me at work.”

Caleb laughs at that. “Well, if you ever need clarification, I’m always happy to help. And I can tell you the more uh. NSFW memes if you want too.”

Owen chuckles. “I may need to take you up on that offer.” He rips off the sheet of paper he was writing on and slide it across the desk towards Caleb. “This is an invitation to my birthday party tonight. You and Adam are both welcome to come. There will probably be a little bit of drinking, so you don't have to come if you don’t feel comfortable with that. I won’t mind. There’s going to be chocolate cake! And there's no presents required.”

“Oh!” Caleb was not expecting that at all. This whole meeting has gone a hundred different ways sideways. “But Agen-”

Agent Green cuts him off before he can get into his protesting. “Caleb, you just let me know one of your biggest secrets. I’m one of only _6 people_ who knows that you and Adam are married, _including_ you two. I just invited you to my birthday party, I think you can call me Owen.”

“I-. Fine,” Caleb huffs and looks at the paper. In careful print, Age- _Owen_ had written down the time (7pm). An address (with My House! underlined underneath in parenthesis). And in all caps: GIFTS NOT REQUIRED!

Caleb smiles and tucks the sheet into his pocket. “I have to ask Adam about it, but I don’t see why he’d object.”

Owen beams. “Excellent, I’ll see you at 7, then!”

“Is there anything else, or…” Caleb trails off.

“Oh, um,” Owen pauses. “If it isn’t too much of an imposition, can I see your ring?”

“Oh! Yeah, one sec.” Caleb pulls the chain around his neck and pulls out the ring from beneath his shirt. “Tada.”

“Oh, Caleb its beautiful.”

“Thanks, I picked it out myself. I have a picture of Adam’s ring too, if you want to see?”

“Oh, I’d love too.”

Caleb tucks the ring back under his shirt and pulls out his phone.

“Here, see.” He holds out the phone towards Owen. 

***

Adam is understandably upset when Caleb gets home and tells him that Owen knows, alone upstairs in Caleb’s room. But he’s mollified slightly at the promise of chocolate cake. They go to the party, they have fun, and Caleb doesn't tell anyone else about them getting married.

Well.

At least, not at _that_ party.

***

Two years later sees Caleb and Adam knocking on Sam’s door again, arms full.

Adam’s got a cupcake holder filled to the brim with gorgeous, delicious chocolate cupcakes, and Caleb’s got their gifts. Wrapped packages in his arms and holding the handles of all the bags in his hand, arm supporting the massive pile.

Adam knocks on the door.

“Hi!” Chloe says as she opens the door. “Come in, come in! Do you need me to take anything?” She asks Caleb.

Caleb just grunts in response.

“Ahhh, worried about the structural integrity of the pile, gotcha.” Her eyes lock onto the cupcake holder in Adam’s arms. “Caleb and Adam brought cupcakes!” she hollers towards the living room. “Here, let me take those from you so you can help Caleb with…” she gestures towards him. “That.”

“Thanks.” Adam hands Chloe the cupcake holder and she heads off towards the living room, leaving Caleb and Adam in the entryway.

“Here, let me take some of that,” Adam says and carefully takes the top two layers of presents from Caleb.

They make their way into the living room and deposit their presents under the Christmas tree.

“Merry Christmas!” everyone says all at once like a terrible musical round. People stand, hugs are given, dogs get pet.

“Ooo, is that egg nog?” Adam asks Mark.

“Yes it is!” Mark chirps. “It’s with the snacks on the table over there.” Mark gestures with his cup before sitting back down next to Oliver in the big easy chair. Alex flops down across their laps with two little “oofs” from Mark and Oliver. Alex slings his arms around the back of Oliver’s neck and swings his legs over the armrest. He presses two smacking kisses to their cheeks.

“Caleb, Adam, come sit next to me!” Chloe says as she takes a seat in the middle of the couch. She pats the empty space next to her.

Caleb sits down next to her. “Adam, can you get me some food and some egg nog?” he asks, batting his eyes. “I’ll save you a spot,” he says sweetly.

Adam laughs. “Sure baby.” He pecks Caleb on the lips and heads to the snack table.

Adam loads up a plate high with a couple cupcakes, some cookies, and other assorted sweets. He also grabs some baby carrots and snap peas and chips like the good husband he supposedly is. Man cannot live on sweets alone, much as Adam wishes he could.

“How have you two been?” Mags asks cheerfully as she slides up next to Adam, reaching across him to dollop a spoonful of salsa on one of the plates in her hand. “I feel like I haven’t seen you guys in ages!”

Adam quirks an eyebrow at her. “I’m pretty sure you saw Caleb yesterday.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen you! Or you guys like, together. It’s one thing to hear Caleb talk about you, and it’s another thing to actually _see_ you. I missed you!”

Adam blushes at the thought of Caleb talking about him to his coworkers. “Oh! I missed you too. I didn’t realize Caleb talked about me at work.”

“Oh yeah, all the time. He loves you so much. Plus, I think it helps people relax once they realize he isn’t some macho cishet guy. Like, he must not be so bad if he’s dating a guy.”

Adam snorts. “Well, you’ll definitely hear more of it tonight. I have a sneaking suspicion that _someone_ is gonna pull out the booze and Caleb’s gonna get empathy drunk again.

“Empathy drunk?”

“Yeah, empathy drunk.”

Mags shakes her head.

“Wait, you don’t know? Yeah, Caleb gets empathy drunk. Doesn’t have to drink a drop to feel the effects of it, and it only gets worse if Mark’s in the room to create a feedback loop. Apparently his tolerance has gotten a little better since high school, but not by much.”

“Wait, so you’re saying that the more we drink, the drunker Caleb’s going to get?” Mags asks incredulously.

“Oh, yeah,” Adam says casually, as he ladles some egg nog into a cup for Caleb. “Don’t worry though. He’s consented to it. Everyone here knows, or at least, I _thought_ everyone here knew. And he knows that it’ll probably happen. Trust me. If Caleb didn’t want to be here around drunk people, he wouldn’t be. Or, he would’ve brought his flask.”

“His flask?”

“Yeah, he’s got a flask that he fills with green tea and brings to parties so people don’t try to force drinks on him.”

Mags laughs.

“Caleb would much rather get drunk around friends and family than random people at a college party. He doesn’t get much opportunity to do it in a safe environment.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense,” Mags says.

“Yeah, and drunk Caleb is a sappy, suggestive drunk.”

Adam takes a whiff of the egg nog. “I do believe someone has spiked this. Looks like we’ll be getting drunk Caleb tonight for sure.”

Mags laughs. “I can’t wait to see it.”

They take their plates of food back over to their friends. Adam carefully balances all his goodies and their drinks and passes them over to Caleb before taking his seat on Caleb’s lap.

“What movie are we gonna watch?” Sam asks the room.

“Ooo, I vote for White Christmas,” Joan says.

“Miracle on 34th Street?” Oliver suggests.

“Nah, that’s too long,” Mark says.

“Nightmare before Christmas!” Adam says, and Caleb laughs.

“You would say that, you dork.”

“Well I don’t hear you suggesting anything better, Meathead!” Adam teases.

“Boys, boys, you’re both pretty,” Chloe says.

“Well what about Muppet Christmas Carol!” Caleb retorts.

“No, I’ve already seen it twice this year with you and Alice,” Adam complains.

“_Fine_,” Caleb sighs dramatically. “I _guess_ we can watch something else.”

“Good man,” Owen says. “_I_ think we should watch Home Alone.”

Everyone stares at him.

“What! It’s a classic! I watched it when it came out!”

“Oh yeah, and how old were you when that happened?” Jackson asks.

“I was 12,” Owen says haughtily.

“Practically ancient,” Chloe whispers loudly to Caleb and Adam.

They all giggle.

“Okay, let’s put it to a vote,” Sam says. “Raise your hand for White Christmas.”

Two hands go up, Jackson and Joan.

“Miracle on 34th Street?”

Two more hands, Oliver and Alex.

“Aww, babe, you wound me,” Oliver says. Mark gives him a wet kiss on the cheek.

“Nightmare before Christmas?” 

Three hands go up. Mark, Mags, and Adam.

“Muppet Christmas Carol?”

Caleb’s lone hand shoots up in the air, nearly whacking Chloe in the face.

“Aww, you guys,” he frowns. “Ah well.”

“And, Home Alone?”

Three hands go up again. Owen, Chloe, and Sam.

“Ooo, looks like we have a tie!” Oliver crows.

“I can be the tie breaker if you want!” Caleb pipes up.

“Aww, but you’re just gonna vote with Adam,” Chloe says. “It wouldn’t be fair.”

“You don’t know!” Caleb says defensively. “I could vote for Home Alone!”

Chloe taps her forehead. “Ah, your mouth may say so now, but your brain is a different story.

“We could play rock paper scissors?” Jackson suggests. “Winner picks the movie?”

“How about we put it up for another vote,” Joan says. “That way the people who didn’t win earlier still have a say,”

There’s a murmur of agreement.

“Okay, all in favor of Nightmare Before Christmas?”

Mark, Adam, Caleb, Mags, Jackson, and Alex all put their hands up.

“Home Alone?”

Owen, Joan, Chloe, Sam, and Oliver put their hands up.

“Alright, votes are in, looks like we’re watching Nightmare Before Christmas tonight,” Sam says. She starts fiddling with the dvd player as Adam cheers behind her.

They pull out blankets and pillows from what seems like every corner of Sam’s house and snuggle in to watch.

People are in and out throughout the whole movie, getting up to get snacks and drink refills.

When the movie’s done, everyone stands and stretches their legs. Joan and Adam retreat to the kitchen to make everyone hot chocolate before presents.

“So, how have you been?” Joan asks. “Senior year been treating you well?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Adam moans. “This year’s been killer. I can’t wait for it to be over.”

“You having a good break?”

“Mmm, yeah. Caleb and I got an AirBnB instead of staying at our parents' houses. It’s like a mini test run before we move in together this summer.”

“Oh! And how did your parents take that? I imagine they were pretty surprised.”

“Nah, we told them this past summer that we were thinking about doing it. It’s weird having to go back and forth from your house to your boyfriend’s house. And besides, it’s Christmas and Hanukkah, so it’s not like we aren’t seeing them all the time anyways. Not even I can keep Caleb and Alice apart, and I don’t want to even try.” Adam gives an exaggerated shudder at the thought of Alice using her super strength to physically pull him and Caleb apart.

Joan laughs. “Yes, knowing Alice, I can see how that might not go so well.”

They finish making the cocoa, and exchange gossip about the goings on of Yale and the AM. Adam loads up a tray with mugs of steaming hot cocoa and Joan grabs the bag of marshmallows. They carefully make their way back to the living room and Adam presents the tray to everyone as he walks around the room.

They all take a mug as he passes. Mark pulls out a partially full bottle of whiskey from who knows where and carefully pours some into his.

“Anyone else want some?” Mark holds out the bottle.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take some,” Caleb pipes up.

“Ooo, brave man,” Mark says, before pouring a healthy amount into one of the mugs. “Anyone else?”

“I’ll pass,” Chloe says, and most of the gang nods their heads in agreement.

“Fuck it, I’ll take some,” Mags says. “Top me off.”

“Jesus Mark, where did you pull that from?” Joan asks.

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

“I’ll take some,” Oliver says.

Mark pours the whiskey and Adam finishes making his round.

“Is it finally time for presents?” Chloe bounces in her seat.

“Yes, I say we start opening presents,” Owen says.

“Presents!” Chloe, Adam, Caleb, Mags, and Mark cheer.

“It’s like you’re children.” Oliver teases.

“Well,” Caleb begins, but Joan cuts him off.

“Caleb, you’re currently drinking cocoa spiked with whiskey, you don’t count.”

“You’re not valid,” Adam whispers to Caleb, and they both giggle.

Owen moves his chair closer to the Christmas tree and grabs a present. “Alright, this one is from Sam to Joan.” He passes the present over, and Joan jabs her finger into the soft package. She tears away the wrapping paper from the hole her finger made, and pulls out the gift inside.

“Oh, Sam, I love them!” she exclaims. It’s a matching set of dark purple gloves and a hat.

“Hopefully these ones won't get lost,” Sam laughs. “The gloves are the kind where you can use your phone while you wear them.”

Joan immediately pulls on the hat. “How do I look?”

“Oh, you look fabulous Joanie,” Mark says.

The rest of the presents go a lot like that. Owen takes great care to make sure that everyone gets an even spread of presents and nobody ends up with 3 in a row, or without a present before someone else gets another. Games, clothes, movies, and of course, the classic random nick nacks.

Chloe gives everyone a beautifully painted portrait of themself. Everyone oos and ahs appropriately when someone gets theirs.

Caleb’s gifts, on the other hand, gets met with a half hearted “ooo” at first when Mags opens hers.

“It’s, um. It’s great!” she says.

“Oh, um.” Caleb leans around Adam. “They’re socks! I made them! They’re the color of you. Like,” he makes a vague hand motion at her. “Your emotions, or whatever the fuck.”

“Oh!” Mags’ eyes light up. “Caleb, I love them!”

“Thanks! Ooo, ooo, can everyone open theirs now!” Caleb says excitedly.

Ah, there drunk Caleb was.

“Yeah, I want socks too!” Mark says, slurring a bit.

Owen passes out the rest of Caleb’s presents, the only ones left under the tree. He has to do a bit of digging to get the ones that had slipped farther behind the tree, but eventually, everyone has a soft wrapped present in their hands.

“C’mon, open them, open them!”

“Oh, Caleb, they’re beautiful.” Everyone holds up their socks.

Joan’s are creamy white blended with light grey, Owen’s are two different shades of green. Sam’s are orange and yellow, and Alex’s are orange and red. Jackson’s are pale heathered baby blue and Chloe’s are bright pink and purple knee highs. Mark’s are a pale bubblegum pink blended with light brown, and Oliver’s are tan mixed with navy blue. They’d all been wrapped in matching or nearly matching wrapping paper.

“Even me?” Adam asks as he takes the blue wrapped present from Owen.

“Yeah, of course you got one!” Caleb hooks his chin over Adam’s shoulder. “Open it!”

Adam takes his time unwrapping his. He can feel Caleb practically vibrating under him in anticipation, his hands tightening slightly on Adam’s hips.

“Well I was thinking you’d wait and give me all my presents on Christmas Day,” Adam says, slowing down his unwrapping.

“But where’s the fun in that! I didn’t want you wondering what yours looked like, or thinking that you weren’t gonna get a pair.”

“Oh.” Adam stops his unwrapping. He hadn’t expected that answer. Caleb knows him well.

_A_dam,” Caleb whines. “C’mon, open it faster, I wanna see.”

Adam laughs. “You wanna see? Babe, you made it!”

Caleb honest to god growls at that.

“Fine, fine.” Adam tears the rest of the paper away in one fell swoop. “Oh, Caleb, I love them.” He pulls out the navy blue socks and holds them up for everyone to admire. They have a grey and light blue argyle pattern and have cool as fuck wave cuffs in pretty white and blue ocean colors.

“Of course, only the best for my huuuusba—”

Adam tenses, frozen in place by Caleb’s slip up. He whips around to look at Caleb, whose mouth is currently being covered by Chloe’s hand. Caleb, who is _still talking_, muffled through her hand.

He prys Chloe’s hand away from his mouth and keeps talking like nothing had happened, and Adam wants nothing more than to strangle him, but he can’t seem to do anything but watch in horror as Caleb talks and talks and talks.

“Adam is the best husband in the _world_,” Caleb says matter of factly. “And I love him so fucking much and he deserves all the nice things.” Caleb grabs Adam’s face and squishes his cheeks together. “You deserve all the nice things in the world, you know that, right?”

Adam nods. “Yeah, baby.” He can feel the blush burning down the back of his neck and the stares of all their friends on the back of his head. “Caleb, um, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Oh! You’re right! I forgot to put my ring on!” Caleb pulls out the chain the ring is threaded through off his neck and unclasps the necklace, sliding the ring off. He sticks the ring onto his finger and Adam sees Chloe facepalm out of the corner of his eye.

“Caleb, no.” Adam says desperately, trying to somehow stop this, turn it around, _something_. “Baby, this is a _secret_. We’re not supposed to _tell_ people!”

“Oh! Ohhhhh.” Caleb blushes and ducks his head. “Fuck.”

“Alllright,” Owen says, slapping his legs as he stands up. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Let’s head to bed shall we? Adam, I’ll help you get Caleb to bed.”

“No, no, no, I’m _fine_,” Caleb protests weakly as Adam gets off his lap and pulls him up. Caleb slumps onto Adam’s shoulder. “I wanna stay down here and talk to people, it feels really nice. It’s all fuzzy and soft.”

“Nope, time for bed,” Adam says, hoisting him up. Owen comes round to Caleb’s other side and helps Adam haul him up the stairs to their usual guest bedroom. Adam dumps Caleb unceremoniously onto the bed and walked back with Owen to the bedroom door.

Owen pauses before leaving. “Do you want me to say anything to anyone tonight? Let them know I knew?”

Adam sighs and rests his head against the door frame. “No, we’ll get plenty of that tomorrow.” He turns to go back in the room and pauses. “Fuck. I forgot we left our backpacks downstairs.” Adam scowls at the thought of having to go back downstairs and confront their friends so soon.

“Do you want me to go get them?” Owen asks.

Adam sighs again. “D’you mind? I’m gonna text Chloe and Mark and ask them not to say anything, or answer any questions. I’m fucking exhausted and this asshole,” Adam jerks his thumb towards Caleb, who lay in the same position he’d landed in when Adam had dumped him on the bed, snoring like there was no tomorrow. “needs to be there when we answer them and deal with the repercussions of spilling the beans. Again.”

Owen huffs a laugh. “Understandable. Well, I’ll be right back in a jiffy with those backpacks.”

Adam closes the door and turns on the bedside lamp so he can better see Caleb. He’s half tempted to leave him fully dressed in his jeans and sweater as punishment, but he knows that Caleb will be miserable enough in the morning without it. He pulls off Caleb’s jeans and shoes and sweater, leaving him in his boxers and undershirt and sends a swift text to Chloe and Mark.

There’s a soft knock at the door and Adam opens it enough to grab the bags without revealing Caleb in his underwear behind him. He exchanges a soft “goodnight” with Owen before changing into his own pyjamas. He rolls Caleb over onto his side of the bed and maneuvers him so he’s lying in a marginally more comfortable position that takes up less real estate on the bed.

Adam finishes his nighttime routine before climbing into bed next to Caleb and pulling the covers up over both of them. He’s asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, curled around Caleb like a vice.

Adam wakes up the next morning to Caleb pressed up against his back and something else pressed against his thigh. He groans into his pillow and shoves at Caleb’s shoulder til he woke up.

“Whazzup?” Caleb mumbles.

“Go do something with that and meet me downstairs for breakfast,” Adam says as he sat up. He pulls a shirt on from one of their backpacks.

Caleb sits up slowly and rubs at his eyes. “Why do I have my ring on?”

“Because, dear, you decided to tell all our friends that I’m the best husband in the whole wide world last night, and insisted that you forgot to put on your ring.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Adam presses a kiss to Caleb’s forehead. “I’ll see you downstairs. Don’t leave me with the wolves for too long.”

And with that, Adam leaves the room, grabbing his phone off the night stand as he goes.

The first thing he says when he walks into the kitchen are his terms. “No, I’m not answering any questions right now. I’m waiting on the other guilty party to come and join the land of the living first, because he’s a part of this too.”

His friends all shut their mouths and go back to eating breakfast and chatting.

Adam sets to work making breakfast for Caleb. Greasy fried eggs and bacon with a side of oily hashed browns and a glass of orange juice. He keeps an eye on the stairs, waiting for Caleb to come down. He pours himself a bowl of cheerios and hops up on the kitchen island, eating and checking instagram while he waits. He can feel the eyes of all his friends on him. The tension and anticipation hangs heavy in the air as they chat around him, one eye on Adam at all times.

A floorboard creaks and Adam looks up to see his husband wince, rubbing his eyes as he comes down the stairs in his Christmas pajama pants and a shirt that says “Dear Santa. Define Naughty” on it.

Caleb groans as he takes a seat at the kitchen island. “Can someone pass the cheerios, I don’t feel so good.”

Adam slides over the plate and juice instead.

“Eat up dear!” He says, a fake smile plastered on his face.

Caleb narrows his eyes at him before taking his fork and eating the offered food.

“So, Caleb, Adam. Do you have anything you want to tell us?” Sam asks.

Caleb blushes.

Good.

“Ah. Yeah. That.” Adam says. “We got married?” He says sheepishly, holding up his left hand to show of the ring he had put on before heading downstairs.

Caleb follows suit, still eating.

Joan sighs. “When was this?”

“Um.” Adam glances at Caleb who shrugs, mouth still full of food. “Two years ago?”

Half the room chokes on their food and drinks. Joan does a spit take.

“Jesus kids,” Oliver hands a paper towel over to a coughing Alex

“What the _fuck_.” She says, coughing. “Why didn’t you tell us? Who knew about this?”

Owen, Mark, Chloe, and Caleb put up their hands.

“Put your hand down Caleb, of course you knew.”

Caleb swallows his bite. “Alice knows too.”

“Anyone else?” Sam asks.

“Ummm. The judge?”

“Jesus Christ Caleb, what about your parents?”

“It was a secret!”

“Yes, but-”

Adam cuts in. “We kept it a secret so they wouldn’t throw us a big wedding. The whole reason for us originally planning on getting married after Caleb gets his PhD was so we’d have more money to put towards the big wedding I _know_ my parents want.”

Caleb jumps in. “And college is fucking expensive for one person, let alone two people plus grad school. And FAFSA gives you more money if you’re 24, have a kid, or you’re married.”

“So you got married for the money?” Joan asks slowly.

“Mmhmm!” Caleb nods cheerfully and takes another bite.

“We got married for love too!” Adam says hastily. “We just did it earlier than originally anticipated.”

“And then didn’t tell anyone.” Mags says.

“And then didn’t tell anyone,” Adam nods. “Yup.”

“But then why do Chloe and Mark and Alice and Owen know?” Jackson asks.

“Chloe was our witness,” Caleb says. “And Alice is my sister, I wasn’t gonna keep something fucking important like that from her. She was our only guest, besides Chloe.”

“But you _told_ Mark and Owen. _Owen_, Owen, over Joan and I?” Sam asks. Adam can see the hurt in her eyes and saw Caleb cringe next to him.

“That was on me,” Caleb says quietly. “I called Mark that night in a panic. I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, and I was fucking terrified that I had fucked up the most important thing in my life.”

“But you could’ve—“ Joan begins.

“No. No I couldn’t have,” Caleb says firmly. “It’s different. Mark’s a queer guy in a relationship with two other guys. He understands things and has advice that you can’t give. I have a great support system that supports me in different ways. I’m not sorry I didn’t call you that night, because Mark said the exact right thing. And he’s continued to give me advice in the two years since.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Um.”

“But what about Owen?” Jackson prompts. “How come you told him?”

Caleb blushes. “Fucking taxes.”

“What?”

“Taxes,” Adam says wryly. “We had the genius idea to hyphenate our last names and this meathead right here went and put it on his W-4 form even though he didn’t have to.”

“Hey, it’s a secret government agency, I wanted to cover all my bases,” Caleb protests. “And besides, we decided together that it’d be better to file jointly instead of separately. Gotta get that tax cut and milk our secret wedding for all its worth, right?”

“_Anyways_, the form got flagged as being “inaccurate” and got sent to the head of HR. The only reason Mags doesn’t know is because she was out of town that day, so it got sent to Owen instead.

“Damn.” Mags snaps her fingers exaggeratedly.

“Imagine my surprise when I get a text saying that we got a last minute invite to Owen’s birthday party that night. Not Agent Green. _Owen._“

“Ohhhhhh,” Sam says. “So _that’s_ why you were at his party. I couldn’t figure out why he invited you two to what was originally going to be a fancy adult party with wine and whiskey.”

“It’s my party, I can do what I want,” Owen says loftily.

“So. Yeah,” Caleb says, swallowing the last of his breakfast. “Chloe knows because we needed a witness and we figured it would be better to tell her outright than to have her see it in our thoughts and accidentally blab it to everyone. No offense, Chloe.”

“Oh, none taken,” she says cheerfully.

“Alice knows because she’s my sister and I love her and I’d feel weird keeping that a secret from her. Mark knows because I can’t keep a secret, and Owen knows because of fucking taxes and because Mags was out of town.

“Are you going to tell your parents, now that more people know you’re married?”

“In an ideal world, they’ll never know.” Caleb takes his plate and glass and takes them over to the sink. “They’ll be fucking pissed if they ever find out.

“But what about that big wedding your parents want? Won't it raise suspicions if you guys never get married at all?”

“Oh, we’re still having the wedding.” Adam hops off of the kitchen counter and moves to the sink to start washing dishes. “From their point of view, we’re gonna get “engaged” in the next year or so, and then we’ll get “married” after Caleb’s done with grad school.”

Oliver whistles lowly. “Damn, you kids really got it all figured out, huh.”

“That’s the goal. We’ll see how well it stands up once life hits it.” Adam smiles and bumps hips with Caleb.

“I think you two will be just fine.” Chloe ruffles Adam’s hair and leaves the kitchen. The rest of the group trickles out behind her, leaving Caleb and Adam alone in the kitchen, Adam washing and Caleb drying.

They stay like that, in the comforting repetition of their task. There's a quiet murmur of their friends talking in the living room behind them, but it’s just background noise, hiding behind the sound of the running water.

Adam finds himself inexplicably humming along to a song only 3 people know.

“Hey, Adam?”

“What is it, Caleb?”

Then he kisses him and Adam can’t find it in himself to be mad at Caleb any more.

***

In late August they have a housewarming party, right before Alice has to leave for college. 

As soon as Adam was done and graduated, he was back in Boston like a shot. They began their apartment search in earnest. Neither Caleb nor Adam had any particular desire to stay at their parents’ house for any longer than they absolutely had to.

It’s a nice apartment, all things considered. Two bedrooms, close to Harvard, and a decent sized kitchen with minimal risk of Caleb and Adam bumping into each other while they (Adam) try to cook. There's even a well placed counter for one of them (Caleb) to sit on and be out of the way.

There's stains on the wall in the living room that Adam has already well documented and saved to multiple locations before they put the couch in front of them. 

They have a proper housewarming party a couple weeks after they move in. They’ve gotten all of the big furniture in place with the help of Alice. They’d already had a move in party. Everyone had been happy to help move their limited boxes with the promise of free pizza.

At the housewarming party, they got a bunch of useful stuff, like a navy blue stand mixer from Adam’s parents and a nice set of knives from Caleb’s parents. They already had basic kitchen supplies, a blender, pots and pans, and a passable coffee machine from living in apartments off campus, but they didn’t have everything.

The party was an open house and people were in and out all night.

Mark pulled Caleb to the side. “This is our gift. Open it when your parents aren’t around.” The present was wrapped in a large gift bag that looked like it had been repurposed from Christmas, judging by the reindeer and snowflakes on it.

“Eugh, Mark, you guys didn’t give us condoms and lube, did you?” Caleb asked, trying to peek around the tissue paper.

Mark just winked and walked off.

_”Mark.”_

Sam and Mags were next. They got them really nice and expensive silk sheets.

“Oh, Sam, no, we can’t take this, this is too much!” Adam protests.

“Caleb. Adam. I have so much money. I have more money than I know what to do with, it feels like sometimes. _Please_ let me buy you guys nice gifts. I think Darwin is getting sick of all the new toys.”

Adam opens his mouth to protest more, but Caleb elbows him gently in the side. “Thank you so much Sam and Mags!” He says and takes the sheets from her.

“Yeah, thanks you guys.”

“And we got you this!” Mags hands them a squishy wrapped present.

Caleb passes the sheets over to Adam and unwraps the new gift. “Mags this is awesome!”

Mags and Sam have also given them a fuzzy tie dye yellow, blue, and green blanket.

Caleb unfolds the blanked and flings it over his back, wrapping it around him like a cape. “It’s so soft!”

Adam sets the sheets down on the table and wraps the bottom of Caleb’s new blanket cape around himself. “You’re right, it is soft!”

“You dork,” Caleb says fondly.

“Meathead.” Adam pulls Caleb down for a slightly awkward kiss given their position, but they make it work.

“Congrats again, you guys,” Mags says.

“Yeah, congratulations!” Sam says. “Oh! I almost forgot! We got you a card too!” Sam pulls an envelope out of her bag. “I suggest you open it later.”

“Alright, whatever you say.” Adam smiles and takes the card from Sam and puts it on the kitchen counter.

Chloe gives them a *gorgeous* painting. It’s rather abstract, a blend of yellow and blue and green swirling together around two figures in the middle, standing facing each other, one taller than the other. The figures stand in front of a rich brown background, obscured at times by the bright colors around them, coming from their chests. The shorter figure has a soft yellow glow halo esqu glow surrounding him, a different shade from the yellow from the larger swirl that curtains both figures. 

Their parents oo and ah over the canvas when she gives it, thinking it’s just a nice painting, and a pretty interpretation of Caleb’s empathy.

Caleb and Adam know exactly what it is though. Chloe painted their wedding day. It’s subtle enough that their parents don’t recognize it for what it is. Caleb’s face lights up even more when it clicks, and Adam grins. It’s a painting of their wedding day from Caleb’s empathy point of view.

Caleb rushes forwards and gives Chloe a big hug. Adam follows suit. He projects _”Thank you, thank you, thank you,”_ at her even though he probably doesn't have to.

“I take it you like it?” Chloe teases as they pull away.

“Chloe, I love it,” Caleb says seriously. “This is the best gift ever.”

“Yeah, thank you so much Chloe. It’s wonderful.”

“Awww, you’re welcome! Oh, and I got you a card too.” She produces an envelope from her purse and Adam takes it and puts it on the kitchen counter with Sam and Mags’ card.

Joan, Owen, and Jackson give them another large gift. “I suggest not opening this in front of your parents,” Owen says with a wink. “Congratulations on the new apartment you two.”

“Thank you!” Caleb smiles.

“Moving in together a big step in any relationship,” Joan says and gives the two of them a hug. “Feel free to call any of us if you need to talk.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Jackson gives them both a firm handshake. “Congrats you two. The apartment looks great.”

“Eh, kind of,” Caleb says, looking around at the sparse living room with a critical eye.

Adam wraps his arm around his husband’s waist and leans his head on his shoulder. “Hey, don't say it like that. We just haven’t finished decorating yet.” Adam lifts Chloe’s painting up a little with his other hand. “We’ll get there.”

Alice’s gifts don’t seem to stop coming.

Alice hands Caleb a toilet plunger. “Because you never know when you might need it. It’s even got one of those fancy holder things so you don’t get toilet water all over your floor.”

She hands a toilet brush to Adam. “Don’t forget to clean your shit. I went to Ikea for this, you should be grateful. The horrors I saw. I’m a changed woman now, I’ll never be the same.” She shudders dramatically.

Caleb and Adam laugh. 

“This might prove utterly useless, but it doesn’t hurt to have.” She hands them a wrapped box with a bow on top. “Who knows, maybe you’ll host a fancy dinner here and need somewhere to put your dipping sauce. Or maybe it won’t get used until you move into a bigger place that can hold everyone for Thanksgiving.”

“And _this_ has been carefully curated for your pleasure and for your eyes only.” She winks at them and gives Caleb a bag.

“Can we open the box now, or do we need to wait for later on that too?” Adam asks.

“Oh, you can open that now.”

Adam unties the bow and tears off the wrapping paper to reveal…

“A gravy boat?”

Alice shrugs. “You never know!”

“Jesus, Alice this is a lot of stuff you got us!” Adam exclaims.

“Yeah, well, Mom and Dad gave me 50 bucks and told me to go wild.”

“Well thank you. I’m sure these will all come in handy eventually.” Adam leans in and gives her a hug.

Caleb follows suit. “Yeah, thanks Alice.”

“You’re welcome!” Alice pulls away from the hug. “Mom, Dad, can we go yet? Ira wants me to pick him up from the library.”

“Yeah honey, in a bit.” Caleb’s dad says. “Let me just finish this conversation.” Mr. Michaels turns back to Oliver and Alex. He laughs at something they say before shaking hands. “Alright sweetie, let's go.”

Mr. and Mrs. Michaels hug Caleb and Adam goodbye before heading out. The Hayes follow soon after.

***

After everyone leaves, Caleb and Adam open the rest of their gifts.

Out of the christmas bag from the Ritz-Bryant-Chen household, Adam pulls out exactly what Caleb had feared: A box of condoms and a giant bottle of lube with a pump.

“Nooooo,” Caleb wails and buries his face in Adam’s shoulder, blushing.

Adam laughs and kisses the top of his head. “You big baby. There’s more stuff in here.” Adam pulls out a dark grey box and carefully pulls off the top. Inside rests an envelope on top of some tissue paper. “Here, you want to open it?” Adam taps Caleb’s head with the edge of the envelope.

“Yeah, okay.” Caleb lifts his head and takes the envelope. He pops open the seal and pulls out a blue card with a cartoony slice of bread on the front. “A toast to the grooms,” Caleb reads off and laughs. He opens the card and reads the inside. “May you always be satisfied!” Someone, probably Mark, had written “Let’s rewind all this and celebrate your wedding properly: These are your wedding gifts, from all of your friends and family. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! —Mark, Oliver, Alex”

“Oh!” Adam says, and pulls open the tissue paper.

Underneath is a beautiful set of four crystal wine glasses. Adam unfolds a slip of paper inside.

_Handmade by Ritz, Chen, and Bryant Enterprises. A one of a kind set that could not be more handmade or unique._

“These are fucking amazing, holy shit.” Caleb says.

Adam hands Caleb the box and pulls the last thing out of the bag. It’s an emerald photo album, with a photo of Caleb and Adam kissing and their names embossed on the front.

Adam opens the book slowly. Inside are dozens of photos of the two of them. Mostly taken by Mark, there's photos from when they got “engaged” at Caleb’s graduation, and photos from their engagement/wedding shoot a couple weeks later. There's photos of the two of them that Adam didn’t even know Mark had been taking. Photos from the Christmas party, from countless movie nights, from birthdays and other get togethers.

Adam’s hand slowly moves to cover his mouth as it opens with a silent gasp. There’s photos that he knows Mark wasn’t there to take; photos of them out for fro yo with Chloe, or at the movies with Alice. There’s photos that Mark must have gotten from Caleb and Adam’s roommates.

There’s copies of the pictures him and Caleb had taken of their hands, their rings, and themselves right after they had gotten engaged for the first time. And there’s even photos from their wedding day, of them signing documents, and crushing the glass in the parking lot outside the courthouse.

There’s a picture of Caleb waiting in the parking lot, Chloe’s beetle driving up in the background. On the opposite side is a picture of Adam putting on his green tie in front of the mirror, concentrating too hard to notice Chloe taking a picture.

At the end of the stream of photos, there’s a piece of card stock in one of the photo slots, that reads: 

_Congrats, you gays! May you have many more happy memories to fill the rest of these pages._

_-Love, Mark_

Adam tears up and gives a wet snort at Mark’s joke. He hadn’t realized how many photos there were. Photos of their wedding, their secret, photos of their love, right there on the page in front of them. They’re so goddamn happy and in love.

And Adam knows that. He knows that they love each other, that their friends love them. He knows he’s happier now than he’s ever been, even if college had been stressful as fuck. But to have this, a physical reminder that it’s true, means more than he can say.

Caleb wraps him in a bear hug and pulls Adam into his lap. Caleb wipes away his tears and gently kisses him.

“Do you want to open the rest of them now, or do you want to wait?” He asks softly.

Adam sniffles. “Open them now.”

Caleb grabs Alice’s bag and tears into it with no ceremony. He pulls out two mugs and a lump of fabric. “Ah, I think this one is yours, and this one is mine,” he says, looking at the mugs. He hands one over to Adam and starts unfolding the lump of fabric.

“I <3 my hot husband.” Adam laughs. “What does yours say?”

Caleb beams and waggles his eyebrows. “My husband has an awesome husband.”

“Oh you dick, you did that on purpose!” Adam laughs. “Come on, trade with me!” Adam makes grabby hands towards Caleb’s mug.

Caleb sticks the mug in the air above Adam’s head. “Nooo, it’s mine!” They tousle for a couple minutes before one of them gives up.

“Fine, fine, you win,” Adam concedes, panting a bit.

“Awww, thanks babe.” Caleb gives him a peck. “I don’t think we’ll be fighting over the rest of Alice’s gift.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Caleb hands Adam one of the fabric things. “She got us aprons!” Caleb holds his up. “I’m “Mr. Eats it All!””

Adam unfolds his. “And I’m “Mr. Cooks it all.”” He laughs. “These are fucking amazing! Oh, we are _so_ taking pictures of us wearing these and sending them to Alice.”

Caleb laughs. “Yeah, okay. What did Joan and Owen and Jackson get us?”

Adam pulls over the bag. “Oooo, looks like monogrammed towels and matching bathrobes.” Adam takes out an armful of olive green towels, a blue bathrobe, and a yellow bathrobe

“Ooooo, let me see!” Caleb reaches over and grabs the yellow robe. “Oh, this is really fucking soft!” Caleb rubs the robe against his face.

“Stop that you fucking weirdo.”

Caleb puts the robe down and grabs one of the towels and inspects the monogram. “I like it.”

“Yeah, me too. Here, you take Sam and Mags’ card and I’ll take Chloe’s card.” Adam passes Caleb one of the envelopes.

They pop them open at the same time. Adam smiles at the card. It’s got two little stick figure men in bow ties holding hands on the front with a little heart between them. The text below them says “Let’s hear it for the boys!”

Adam opens the card and a piece of paper slides out onto his lap. “And give these boys a hand,” the inside of the card reads.

_Congratulations again on getting married and engaged and an apartment! So many new things in such a short amount of time! Take a break and treat yourselves to making some art at one of those wine and pottery studios! Channel your inner Taako and Kravitz and have a blast._

Adam unfolds the paper. It’s a certificate for a couple sessions at a pottery studio in Cambridge. He offers the card and paper to Caleb. “What did Sam and Mags get us?”

“Fancy date night!” Caleb says, swapping cards with Adam.

“Guess we’ll be having quite a few of those.”

Sam and Mags’ card has two ties on the front with a heart between and says “Bravo, Gentlemen”

Inside, the card reads: _"Best wishes on this wonderful journey, as you build your new lives together. Your wedding day has come and gone, but may your love forever grow. Enjoy this gift of a few extra fancy date nights— Anniversary not required.”_

Caleb holds up two gift cards to fancy restaurants downtown. “I see many date nights in our future.”

“You finally gonna wine and dine me, Michaels?” Adam teases.

“That’s Hayes-Michaels to you,” Caleb says, pushing Adam so he lays out on the couch, head bracketed between Caleb’s arms. Adam grabs Caleb and pulls him in for a kiss.

“And anyways,” Caleb says, between kisses. “I haven’t seen _you_ make any moves towards wining and dining _me!_”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adam says, slightly out of breath as he breaks away from the kissing. “Such is the life of being a poor college student. Woe is you.”

Caleb laughs. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want any wining and dining tonight,” he says, punctuated with a loud growl from his stomach.

Adam smiles. “Yeah, me either. You want to order some pizza? Pizza sounds _really_ good right now.”

“You’re just saying that because it’ll take the longest to get ready,” Caleb accuses, already pulling out his phone.

“Mm, maybe.” Adam smirks and moves his hips a little. “I’m just saying, we have brand new supplies _right here_ we don’t even have to get up.”

Caleb groans. “Yeah, okay, you’ve convinced me. Lemme just, lemme just finish making this order, okay baby?”

“_Fine_,” Adam sighs dramatically and flings his arm over his head while he waits. As soon as Caleb hangs up, Adam’s all over him.

“You’ve got 45 minutes, and neither one of us is going to miss paying the pizza man,” Caleb says, as Adam pulls him down. “And we’re not answering the door naked. Or using our nice new towels for clean up.”

Adam hums. “Aye aye, captain. Whatever you say.”

***

45 minutes later, the pizza comes. Adam retrieves it in his new bathrobe and gives the poor pizza guy a healthy tip for his troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @the-emerald7

**Author's Note:**

> Since I never came out and said it in the fic: They get married on November 11th 2018, on the two year anniversary of Safe House, even though that's a federal holiday AND a Sunday, because fuck you I said so.
> 
> follow me @the-emerald7 on tumblr and @katiebug28 on twitter
> 
> part 2 coming.... soon? i hope


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